I’m sitting here and enjoying the quiet after a full month of blissful chaos. My sister had the opportunity to come visit me here in Poland for a full month. This month has meant the world to me.
A few words about my sister – Anna.
Ania is the opposite of me. Where I am loud and rash she is quiet and calm. Where I thrive in the midst of hundreds of people and grasp at attention at every waking moment she shrugs of the crowds and feels comfort among the few and select. Where very often I speak without a second thought she carefully analyzes her words. This makes her words fewer but more sacred. She is more my father and I am more my mother. She is the ying to my very loud yang. I often have wondered how could our parent’s raise two such very different people.
But through our differences we have a bond like no other and I think I came to see and fully understand that just now at the very young age of almost 33.Maybe it’s because I have become a mother and my perspective has changed. Maybe it’s because I’m a bit older and wiser. Who knows?
Reflecting and thinking about the past and present I have realized that in many ways I aspire to be more like Anna. I’d love to be able to contemplate my words – I have stung too many with my “quick wit”. I’d love to be able not to fly of the handle because the world isn’t going according to my plan – silly world. This last case will be valuable in terms of becoming a mother. I see her with her son and her ability to speak to him teaches me. I see her passion towards architecture and design and I wish to have passion as she does.
While writing this my 9 week old Matylda snoozes on my chest. I know I have to put her in her own crib but today, I need the snuggles and cuddles more than she does. A few silent tears escape my resolve to not be a cry baby today. I will truly miss my sister.
I look down and see Matylda’s face and smile a bit. I hope she’s a bit like Anna. I realize too that I want my Tilly/Matty (still deciding what her nickname will be) to have what we have. I want her to have this sibling, this other person that will tell her she’s being ‘cray’ if she’s being ‘cray’. That will support her decisions good or bad. That will beat her up and tattle on her growing up. That will be her ying to her yang. At the hospital, during birth, I asked WHY would women do this again and now I’m realizing why.
Anna and I both have families now, careers, goals, different aspirations. We are in very many ways worlds apart as the age gap between us has always divided us in many ways. She’s always been at a different stage of her life. Which is why I have always looked up to her. But I think we are finally in a very similar mind frame. We are both mothers. Through our many differences (both mind and age) we have remained and always will be kindred spirits.
I love you Anna and see you soon.
I’d love to hear your story about your sibling as well! 🙂 Feel free to share it in the comments below!